How to Deal with an Ex: Top Ten Tips
In the quest for Mr. or Ms. Right… it’s inevitable that we end up with ex’s. A healthy outlook on our ex is key to moving on. Top Ten Tips. What do you think?
- Civility Goes a Long Way. Whether you are tied to an ex with children or the ex was a passing “thing”, treating others with civility is key. Give an ex at least the same respect you’d give a stranger. The past is over and your present actions are what others see. Your present actions build your future.
- Accept Your Mistakes. It takes two to tango. Never forget that. Even if you were a victim to a bully, you put yourself in that situation. Take responsibility for your part, so that you can change and not repeat the same mistakes.
- Make Yourself Healthy. At the end of the day, an ex is a loss. A loss is painful- for something that once was is no longer. Make sure to fulfill your needs and keep yourself strong and happy so that you are ready for the next big thing.
- Be Grateful. An ex is an ex for a reason. Maybe you haven’t figured the reason out yet. And if you don’t buy that spiritual message- consider the other logical response: be miserable or without emotion for the loss. Now we’ve all had enough therapy or lived long enough to know that misery loves company and lack of emotion buries you. So… be grateful.
- Don’t Gossip. Enough is enough. The more you talk about the past, the more you live the past in the present. And even if the past keeps coming back, the less you acknowledge it, the less power it will have over you.
- Don’t Put Anyone in the Middle. Whether it’s your friends, kids or family members. If you have an issue with an ex, deal with the ex directly. Communication is hard enough in normal circumstances, add another person in the mix and things just get tricky.
- Speak in Person- Don’t Send Texts. Enough said.
- Limit Contact. When it’s over. It’s over. “Let’s be friends” works great once you’ve both truly moved on- otherwise it will just keep one or both of you holding on to what just isn’t anymore.
- Be Sensitive to Others. “No one is an island.” And that’s true of couples too. There are friends and family and sometimes kids consider. So when you are moving on, no need to show it to others – who just may not yet be where you are.
- Move On. Whether it was brief or long term, you need to rework your life around something or someone else. Change your routine, find some new friends, go to a different hangout- that is unless you just want to hold on- so then be honest: the person is not really your ex.